How I got my mama mojo back! Here are my 5 essential tips to recover your sanity during those HARD first 4 months.
If you are pregnant or a new mum, have you asked yourself what type of parent will you be? Will you be an attachment parenting advocate? Will you be ok with crying it out method? Well I never did..
I thought motherhood was going be a fairly straight forward road. Coming from a corporate background where I planned and executed projects left right and centre. And yes we had some issues along the way but it wasn’t hard to figure out how to solve them.
And the fact my mum said I was a “perfect baby”? Slept all the time, breastfed like a pro and was a placid toddler I thought.. history will repeat.. I’m set!! I will go back to work when the baby turns one and happy times!!
Could I be more wrong????
To start with I had an emergency caesarean, then my milk didn’t come early enough so had to supplement my baby with formula. I was ok with it as long as she was eating. Also my daughter was one of those not so “perfect babies” she wouldn’t sleep day or night. It was so random to get a few hours sleep.
After endless hours asking myself what I did wrong? Why me? How come everybody else got a perfect baby except me? You know where I’m going with this, right? Well, I decided to take action and tried to read every book under the sun to get my baby to sleep; if I’m honest so many theories were doing my head in! Not one book reflected to a T what my baby was like (not even freaking close). It all hit me one day and now I can share with you those tips that I wish someone had shared with me that time:
1) Treasure your baby:
Your baby is unique. In some rare cases yes you may find a book that would fit EXACTLY what your baby is like but again that is RARE! Take from the books your read what fits your life and your values. And most importantly listen to your baby and your heart!
2) Do not compare yourself:
Comparison is a thief of Joy! Women are so quick to put on a mask a soldier on, but is that really the truth? HELL NO! We all struggle with motherhood in different ways but we tend to hide because we don’t want people to judge that that we haven’t got our sh!t together. So enjoy your baby, don’t be afraid to share your pain and struggles but remember no mother has got everything figured out… that is simple B.S and always remember Your baby is perfect regardless if they sleep or not!
3) Look after yourself:
You need time out! I know you may not want to leave your baby out of your sight or feel too tired to do anything. But at this critical time you need to look after yourself. Why not try a quick walk around the block? A 15 minute nap! A relaxing shower, some nice skin care products on and putting nice fresh clothes and make up (they were my saviours), some gentle exercise to release the power of endorphins. If you have someone that is willing to help you and look after the baby while you take some time out… For crying out loud DO IT!!!!!
4) Let go of expectations:
Yes, we all have them but when they rule your life and allow no flexibility… hmmm I won’t sugar coat it! You are doomed for failure. Why? Because it doesn’t allow you to enjoy your life as it is right now. You won’t appreciate the simple things in life and you’ll miss out on your baby! Follow your heart and your motherly intuition. Connect to it, Look into your baby’s eyes and get lost in them… treasure every feed! Kiss those little fingers and you’ll see how your whole perspective will change.
When I let go of expectations and embraced my power and motherhood instinct I realised with a clear mind that babies go through stages and it’s not eternal. My mantra when things got hard was “this too shall pass” I held on to that like I was holding it with glue. Maybe you can make it your own and repeat 1000 times until it becomes your truth
5) Take what you want:
Advice, to listen or not to listen, that is the question! EVERYBODY will give you their 2 cents about being a mum and raising your child. Even your own mother will tell you what she thinks is best and I know a lot of the people around you are genuine and loving and caring and are giving you the advice that worked for them.. Did you hear that? THEM!! You can take what you want from their experience and avoid mistakes but with babies there is no proven unique method. So it is a matter of you experimenting, testing and following your heart and your baby’s needs. And to all those people whose advice sound scary/ wacky or simply you don’t like the sound of it. politely say thank you and move on. Trust your gut instinct.
Always remember, YOU got it in you!! The motherhood instinct is there and you just have to tap into it and let it guide you!
With all my love and encouragement!